Blog

I am about to share from the heart and it may not be pretty.

If you aren’t into reading personal blogs, you can:

A) keep reading to see if there is a takeaway,

B) watch this 1989 Microsoft Word tutorial, “The Most Boring Video Ever Made,”

3) or spend the day wondering how I outsmarted my computer’s automatic numbering system.

I had planned to continue my blog series about stretching your comfort zone.

I was going to keep doing life as planned.

And then there was COVID-19. 

And then our family was impacted by the outbreak.

Some background on how we do family: 

• We love being together.
• We share moments of all sizes.
• We share our honest feelings – nothing is off limits. 
• We do life as a unit. 
• Our kids are young adults who live independent lives very capably, but we are interconnected, and we like it that way.

If you want to learn how I can help your family know the joy of a closer relationship, awesome! Click here and let’s talk.

But before the virus hit, we were already experiencing separation pains.

We have served others together in big and small ways since our kids were little. We have loved sharing our experiences.  We’ve experienced a bunch of local and regional service trips together, one week-long trip out of state, and two fantastic mission trips in Nicaragua.  Through it all, we talk, process, share and grow together.

But here’s what’s different this time.

Within the last month, both kids went on independent mission trips with their college church groups, and we didn’t go together.  These are exciting times, as they have sought these experiences on their own.  It’s hard to be apart, but we are overjoyed that they want to serve!

First, our daughter went to Guatemala, and before we could all get together to hear her stories, our son left for Peru. 

Just like that, they flew the coop. Fled the nest.  Sprouted wings and ate worms?  I don’t even know where that came from.

While our son was gone, my husband and I went to Florida for an entrepreneur’s conference that we booked way before anyone planned to go away on mission. 

Our collective plan was to regroup right after Florida and share our experiences.

We were eager to be together. 

Well, my husband (a good guy despite how this looks) missed the kids, but wondered if we could extend our trip in the sun while the prices were low and see them when we got back.

I was dying to hug the kids, hear their stories, and feel connected again.

We didn’t extend.

It felt so weird to be so separated during such sizable experiences:

• two mission trips,
• a vacation,
• a worldwide virus outbreak,
• and the unprecedented vanishing act of all grocery store toilet paper.

Before our son could get home from Peru, while we were still in Florida, we began hearing rumors of borders closing to stop the spread of COVID-19. His university had already asked all students to move off-campus and complete their courses online for the rest of the semester. 

We prayed that they would get home according to plan.

Thankfully, they did make it back, on what may have been the last international flight out of Mexico. 

It was close and we seriously counted our blessings.

During this same time frame, our daughter began her career as a recreational therapist.  Yay!

She was hired by a memory care facility as an Activity Specialist.  Her love for people makes this a perfect opportunity.

Again, we counted our blessings.

We missed her first day of work by one day. We talked on the phone and loved that she sent pictures.

But if I am being honest, it was hard as heck to not see her off that morning. 

Somewhere along the way I started waving goodbye to the kids from the driveway in my robe.  It’s a little way of showing them they matter. I can only imagine how entertaining this is to the neighbors.

We arrived home from our trip late at night. The next morning, my husband returned to work and I got up early to see our daughter before day 2 of work.

I got to hug her, and we had about 20 minutes together before I waved goodbye in the driveway.

We were so thankful!

Then, I eagerly anticipated our son’s arrival home from college.  I could not wait to hug him, after fearing he wouldn’t make it home.  I was so grateful I would get to wrap my arms around him at last.  Soon, we would all be in the same place in the same time, sharing and reconnecting.

And then my daughter called from work.

Because of our airport travel, we could not be in the same airspace without putting her elderly residents at risk.

She could either self-quarantine at home or move out for 2 weeks.

Suddenly the virus went from someone else’s problem to ours.

If she chose to move out and I wanted to help her pack after work, I couldn’t actually hug our son until after she came & left that night.

It was so unexpected. We were stunned.

This was not our plan.  Our plan was to be together.

Like so many others, our plans changed in a matter of minutes. Can you relate?

When our son came home, I ran to his car, just wanting to see his face, knowing I had to wait to hug him.  There I was, waving hello in the driveway, face covered in tears, feeling 3 feet and yet miles away, mentally wrapping my arms around him. 

It was so weird and hard.  But he was home and we had so much to be thankful for!

Our daughter arrived after a long day of training to pack her things without hugging or touching anyone. We wiped tears throughout. Her dad and brother stood watching, who she couldn’t even hug, because they couldn’t even enter the room.

Again, a few feet and somehow miles apart.

But she chose to serve the residents safely. 

We didn’t love it, but we understood!

This is a time for mission work right here, right now, in the places we currently are.

It was so strange to realize we had no nearby relatives she could stay with who hadn’t been exposed to germs from airport contact or who were in a high-risk group themselves.  We racked our brains to think of the best option for her.  She chose to stay with a friend.

We loaded her up with groceries, extra money, prayers and encouragement, all the while wishing that things were different. Again I stood in the driveway, waving goodbye, trying to smile and hoping the rain hid my tears.

This is our story.

As I post this, I recognize that the worldwide toll has been severe. There are families dealing with much greater change.  I can’t know the pain they are in, yet my heart aches for them. I am sure many feel this as well.

But this is my family’s experience.  It made us feel incomplete, extra disconnected, and honestly just sad, however temporary.

If things go according to plan, everyone will stay well and get to hug our daughter in 2 weeks. We will share our stories via videochats & phone calls, stay connected, and support her from afar.

If things don’t go according to plan, we trust that God will help us decide our next steps.

The beauty in choosing joy during difficult times

The thing is, when things do not happen according to plan, we need to recognize that we can choose joy anyway.

There is joy in serving others and meeting their needs.

There is much to be thankful for!

I don’t love what’s going on, we don’t love it collectively, and yet goodness is there for the taking. 

Goodness is there for the giving.

The beautiful difference between joy and happiness:

Joy does not depend on the circumstances.

It’s there, no matter what life brings.

Just now, our daughter texted from her friend’s, and I could feel the hope in her words.  Then she called, and I could hear her excitement for the day. She knows she will get to help other people.

We can experience joy when the situation stinks. 

Joy can be found in our:

• faith, whatever that looks like,
• connection to others,
• ability to lighten someone’s load,
• appreciation for the beauty of nature,
• unity with music,
• gratitude for our blessings. 

If this list inspires you to consider what brings you joy, great! But don’t let it limit your thinking. Joy can be found in so many things that speak to each of us.

Joy is what remains after the hurricane takes away the things that made us happy. 

It’s the inner effervescence for life that survives despite:

• worldwide pandemics
• addiction
• joblessness
• or war that separates us from our loved ones, our incomes, our stability, our plans.

Let me encourage you – us – to focus on where joy might be found.

When the news isn’t good, and bombards us with feelings we don’t like, we can turn it off and rise above by choosing things that fill our joy buckets. 

You know what happens with full buckets.  They overflow.

Where have you experienced goodness? 

Tell someone.

What filled your heart with gladness?  Share your stories here.

Share them with all who will listen. And ask others for their stories!

I have encouraged many audiences to seek and share what brings joy, no matter what the situation.

I will continue to spread this message.

And I, too, will choose to seek and share joy.

Joy is contagious. Be a carrier.

Until next time…