Aren’t thistles the best?
Their vibrant, intense purple makes them one of my favorite flowers. It’s the shade of purple that makes half of my closet exciting. I love seeing thistles so much that sometimes clapping spontaneously erupts.
When my husband and I first met, we did a lot of 4-wheeling on his parents’ farm. I was enamored by the rich color of the wild thistles and often admired them from the 4-wheeler.
My perspective was: All that purple and they didn’t even have to pay for it? How could anyone be so fortunate? What do you mean they have prickles?
My husband had heard his dad grumble about those same plants for years. He thought my appreciation for thistles was hilarious.
His perspective was: We need to get rid of those things before they go to seed and destroy the pastures!
HOW WE SEE THINGS DIRECTLY AFFECTS THE LEVEL OF JOY IN OUR LIVES
Henry Ford is quoted as saying, “Whether you believe you can do a thing or not, you are right.” Others are credited with the same quote, and maybe we’ll never know who said it first. But, wow, what a perspective on perspective!
Your perspective is uniquely yours.
Your perspective influences your mindset.
And your mindset dictates your actions.
One day I was at a stoplight with my car windows down. Two radio personalities were discussing the subject of perspective.
I’ll never forget the question that was asked:
“As you think about your life, do you feel you were shortchanged or overpaid?”
They weren’t talking to me directly, but I couldn’t help it. This one was obvious! With everything I had, I threw my head back and hollered out “OVERPAID!!!!”
It was then that I saw the crowd of people standing on the sidewalk, looking at me, awkwardly wishing the light would change. 😂
There were probably 4.
If you’ve read my blogs, you know I don’t have a perfect life. But an optimistic perspective makes my life joyful, thistles and all. Joy is contagious and I would like to share some with you right now.
Rather than read a ton of advice, how about a few short stories? As you read them, let me encourage you to check in with your perspective. The best way to do this is by imagining yourself in the stories. Give thought to what your outlook would have been. How would you have reacted? And, looking ahead, how would you like your story to read?
THE JOY OF UNDERSTANDING
When my husband and I were youth leaders at our church, one of the group’s favorite activities was the Food Pantry Relay Race. We would give each group of kids a leader & a wheelbarrow and set them loose around the community. It was a win/win: We knew that it would utilize their endless energy for good. They knew they would win a prize if they got back to church before the timer ran out and gathered the most food.
Off they ran toward the nicer neighborhoods, knocking on doors.
Interestingly, every one of the eight years of this outreach, the groups that WON did so by going to the run-down part of town.
The winning group regaled us with their stories of how some houses were in such bad shape, they felt bad knocking… and found these were the most generous givers.
Why? Perspective.
These folks knew what it was like to be in need and receive help, and they were quick to return the kindness. They saw this as an opportunity to say thank you.
THE JOY OF CELEBRATING WHAT WAS
My daughter and I love to have down time together. This has been a particularly busy season for both of us and just last weekend, hallelujah, our schedules finally matched up. For the first time this summer, we grabbed our suits & towels and walked down the hilly road to the lake. Woohoo!
Despite the fact that storms were predicted at lunchtime, we opted to enjoy whatever sun came our way that morning. It was cloudy, but we were thankful for the time to make memories together.
Rather than attempt to pull-start our old pontoon boat (The Big Blue Barge looks good for 51!), we stayed docked. We had the best time looking at the clouds, talking and sharing, listening to thunder in the distance, and predicting our likelihood of getting 2 hours on the boat before the rain came.
With 10 representing sunshine & no rain, my daughter’s guess was 2, and mine was 8.
As often happens, her intuition was a lot better than mine.
The thunder kept getting louder, despite the fact that the weird overcast foggy clouds were burning off and the sun was actually shining. It got hot and we got happy.
We got in the lake to cool off and it was glorious.
Then my daughter saw the cloud forming over one end of the lake.
It was menacing. That cloud was dark as night.
We needed to pack up and go and it hadn’t even been an hour.
Then I heard the strangest, nonstop sound. Was it an airplane? Continuous thunder?
It was the sound of rain on the lake. Lots of rain. Rain that was coming for us.
We took off!
We were speed walking up the hill toward home when it caught us.
The rain came down in buckets and we were drenched.
Everything we were carrying was soaked!
Like drowned rats (I regret not getting a video), we burst in the house, shouting and laughing almost too hard to breathe, in awe of the storm and all of the fun we had trying to outrun it.
Yes, it was our only lake day of the summer. We had waited 2 months for an hour on the boat.
But perspective is everything.
We could choose to resent what wasn’t,
or we could celebrate what was.
That experience now ranks as one of our favorite summer memories ever. I can only hope we have half as much fun next time!
THE JOY OF KNOWING “I’M ENOUGH”
As you may know, I get to help people around the world live more joyful lives (you can learn about my life coaching philosophy here). It’s awesome because everyone has a different understanding of what brings joy and joy is a “seek and you shall find” kind of thing.
One of my clients was in a serious relationship and believed she had met “her person.” They were planning a sailing trip in Croatia and talking about the future.
Then, out of nowhere, he ended things.
At first, my client was crushed. We spent several sessions unpacking how she felt and what steps she wanted to take moving forward.
In time, she realized joy would come with her own goals and a new, individual identity.
I was thrilled when she decided to go on the sailing trip without him.
While on board the sailboat, she spent time journaling, checking in with herself and meeting her need for rest, appreciating the way the ocean impacted her, and meeting a number of new friends.
When she returned, she summarized her new perspective by declaring,
“I don’t need anyone to complete me because I learned that I am good company!”
She said goodbye to her roommates, intentionally found a new place just minutes from the ocean, and enjoys surfing, yoga, and taking the lead on filling her own joy bucket.
ABOUT YOUR STORY
As you read these stories and imagined yourself in them, what perspective did you have?
How would you have reacted?
There are times in life when situations are tough.
In recognition of this, the truth is, we can still choose our response.
Living your best life among the thistles starts with your perspective.
Your perspective impacts your mindset.
Your mindset guides your actions.
What is being said by the story of your life?
Are the thistles a glorious shade of purple, or about to take over the farm?
PS: If you’d like to improve your perspective for free, subscribe to Joy Bites! You’ll find the option in the sidebar, or by scrolling to the bottom for mobile users. Posts come out twice a month to help you reframe your thinking in a more optimistic way. We’d love to welcome you into The Joy Bites tribe!
What a beautiful article Robin! I read it from top to bottom. Life really is determined by the mindset that you choose to have. This couldn’t have come at a more poignant time for me! Thank you for your open and honest dialogue. ps. Love the rainstorm story – i was giggling my head off!
Hi Frieda! Thank you so much for taking the time to share your feedback! I am really glad you found it helpful, we all need reminders from time to time, don’t we? xoxo
Loved this! Every rain drop of it. So dang true. OVERPAID! Thanks Robin.
Yay! Spending time considering our perspectives is time well-spent. I laughed out loud at your brilliant “every rain drop of it.” 😂 Thanks so much!
I loved the article and I can really relate. I have been there!but now I am truly Overpaid! Thank you Robin.
Pam, thank you for commenting! I am so glad you recognize that you are overpaid because I KNOW you’ll encourage others to consider whether they might be as well. Yay for contagious joy!