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This newsletter idea might not earn me any literary awards, but I believe helping you relax is more important than trending online right now.

Let me ask: Are you feeling the need to relax at all? How’s your stress level? Are you sleeping well?

Let’s be honest, life on planet Earth is feeling like Wild Kingdom. Recent events have got our collective heads spinning, hearts hurting and hands wringing.

As we watch painful situations unfold around the planet, we struggle to understand them all. Believe me, I’m right there with you, shaking my head in wonder, unable to form words. I feel the need to help you – and us – regain a sense of calm.

But I thought we were going to have fun?

You know I’m a joy coach and love helping people feel good and find joy, but sometimes, we need to focus on the basics.

To talk about all of the fun we should be having would be ignorant right now, given the atrocities we have been witnesses to.

We can jump back into fun next week.

(However, do NOT miss the PS at the end of this newsletter!)

For now, let’s take a detour into relaxing together and see if it helps us cope.

Just breathe.

In moments like these, whenever I get worked up, a friend invariably tells me, “Just breathe.”

As ridiculous as it is, I actually need the reminder.

Yeah, I’m breathing. But I’m not BREATHING.

Kapeesh? (Wow, I never tried to spell that before. Props to Urban Dictionary).

While breathing isn’t something we need to think to do, courtesy of our Creator’s intricate design, there are times we forget to breathe deeply.

And given the headlines in the last few days, that’s what I’m here to remind you to do.

Just breathe. Breathe deeply.

My guess is, the reminder comes as a much-needed call to action.

Is that all, just breathe?

Now, I could stop at “just breathe,” and have a super short newsletter and more time to play ball with my dog, but I’d like to take it a step further and walk you through my absolute favorite calming breathing technique.

Why?

Because it works. It will relax you. And, wouldn’t you know it, relaxation brings my favorite thing. Joy.

This technique, while super simple, holds personal significance to me. I can’t tell you how many times I had to force this during the middle of the night in 2021.

I learned this method when I had a mild traumatic brain injury (click for video) and had an awful time sleeping at night. For months, I struggled to fall asleep and stay asleep. You might be able to relate, with or without the TBI. When hatred seems to rule the day, it’s harder than heck for empathetic givers to sleep at night.

I feel you, believe me. You are my people and we are in this together.

So, I invite you to set aside anything else you may be working on, and just focus with me for a few minutes.

You’ll thank yourself later. A few minutes trying this out will help you have clarity and focus when you return to “the real world” after your final exhale.

Ready?

Let’s do this breathing thing

Here are the steps:

• If you’re seated, put your feet on the floor (unless you’re short like me) and sit up tall, stetched.
• If you’re lying down, lucky you! Relax.
• This is about belly breathing. Take a 5 count breath in and make sure you see it in your belly. You’re doing it right if you look like you have a food baby. This is essential. If you are breathing higher in your chest instead of lower in your abdomen, exhale and do it again. If you are lying down and put a hand or book on your stomach, you should see it visibly rising.
• Hold your breath for a 7 count. Count at the same pace throughout this exericse… no cheating to get this part over with faster!
• Slowly exhale through your mouth for a count of 8. Try to push out all of the air from your beautifully large stomach.
• That’s it!

In for 5, hold for 7, out for 8. Food baby.

There’s a reason this works

Here’s the science behind why this relaxes you so well.

This technique stimulates the vagus nerve. According to an article on Forbes.com:

The vagus nerve is the body’s superpower and it’s used to counteract your fight/flight system. It’s how you develop a healthy stress response and become resilient. When stimulated, you feel calmer, more compassionate, and clearer.

What The Vagus Nerve Is And How To Stimulate It For Better Mental Health by Sarah Jeanne Browne

The vagus nerve is your friend when the world makes you want to run and hide.

Learn to work with it and you’ll feel better.

You’ll say goodbye to anxiety, mental spinning, feeling helpless, and lying awake at night.

Just breathe: One and done?

Now, in order to really calm down, we want to repeat this cycle up to 20 times.

Wait, don’t close out. I know, that sounds like a lot and you have to go save the planet. Or at least look up other words on Urban Dictionary.

First consider this: If you felt calmer after one cycle, can you imagine the joy you’d feel after 10? Or a full 20?

If you do the math, (and I did because it’s not a weekend, otherwise I’d be exempt from math. You make your own rules!), 20 rounds would take under 7 minutes.

Only have a few minutes? Go for 10 rounds and see what effect they have on you before deciding whether to add more or call it good.

Here’s the technique in a pretty box, one more time:

We can’t always control our circumstances. But we can control our reactions to them.

Choose to relax.

You’ll be glad you did, because it feels good to feel good. #feelgood.

One last – very important and FUN – thing!

PS: I think we need an infusion of hope. Now. Do you agree?

Would you like to laugh and learn about hope while meeting awesome, caring people like YOU?

Attend my virtual event on March 19, the Silver Lining Stories Livecast.

There are currently 19 speakers from all walks of life and 3 continents coming together to share stories of silver linings: Times when great difficulty brought even greater blessings.

I am putting this event together for you. Join us by clicking here and walk away with HOPE.

Until next time…