Is This The Day We Give Fear The Finger?

I didn’t mean for it to happen.

One minute, I’m driving to a coffee shop in a “don’t go bacon my heart” t-shirt and singing along with the radio.

The next minute, my middle finger flew into the air.

I know, right? 😲

And it happened just. Like. THAT.

I’m not making excuses, but it was involuntary.

Let me explain because:

I don’t want you to think I’m “that kind of girl” and
This story might help you face something you’re up against… and therefore, feel more joy (always our focus!)

Here’s the backstory.

I am holing up at a coffee shop with no wifi turned on, ready to work. I have a job to do. I’m in game mode. I’m even wearing a hat.

I am here to write my book without distractions.

But the truth is, I do not want to be here.

Because… I do not want to finish this book.

*deep breath*

Big share: I am afraid of how people will react to my stories, to my viewpoints. Even to my faith.

It’s so much easier to share upbeat stories, times of when things went well.

Joy. Yay!

But, the book I am writing is filled with stories I have kept hidden. For years. Stories of times I lost my joy and how God met me where I was and helped me find it again.

It’s a book I never wanted to write.

But, in my belief system, when God speaks, you listen.

Click the image and read an excerpt from the book… does it speak to you?

Even if we are of different beliefs, you know what it’s like when you become painfully aware that you have to do something you don’t want to do. It’s good for you. And… doing it could help others.

Writing this book is one of those things.

And, there’s a part of me that hopes maybe I can be obedient and write about these things without actually having to share them. Maybe that’s enough. Just write them out as part of the healing process.

Heck, maybe nobody would even want to read this book when it’s done.

Except that I have been meeting with publishers recently. They have read parts of the book. Seven of them want to talk about publishing it.

*exhaling*

There goes that theory.

So, back to my story. As I was driving here to isolate and write, I started thinking of all of the reasons why I should just go home and do other things. The list was long. The negative thoughts were shouting.

I was looking for a spot to do a U-Turn.

And then, “The Breakup Song” by Francesca Battistelli came on.

Now, I’ve seen Francesca in concert, admiring her purple boots and wondering if she was related to “Flo” from the Progressive commercials.

This particular song is awesome. I love it because she addresses fear directly. She takes fear head on and breaks up with it.

It’s so powerful, I have it linked on my website so other people can hear it.

But I never realized just how badly I needed to hear it until today in the car.

As I was singing along and realizing how I was allowing the fear of “what will people think?” to rule my thoughts and deter me from writing, I started getting madder and madder.

I was mad at fear for rearing its ugly head.

But I was madder at myself for falling for it. Again.

And that’s when, in the third chorus, as Francesca sang and my heart and voice joined in, I gave fear the finger:

Oh fear you don’t own me
There ain’t no room in this story
And I ain’t got time for you telling me what I’m not
Like you know me
Well guess what?
I know who I am
I know I’m strong
BRAVE
And I am free
Got my own identity
So fear, you will never be welcome here.
“The Breakup song” by francesca Battistelli

As you listen to this song, maybe you’ll picture the scene. Maybe you’ll join me in solidarity and flip off fear, right when she adds “BRAVE” in the third chorus. Maybe you’ll look around to make sure no little old ladies saw you and laugh out loud like I did.

And maybe you’ll allow yourself to wonder…

Where has fear been holding me back?

Am I ok with letting fear rob me of joy?

Is today the day I say goodbye and move on?

You’re reading this for a reason, so let me encourage you. If you need to stand up to fear:

DO IT: JOY IS WAITING.
Believe that you are worth it.
And remember that you don’t have to do it alone! I am always here for and with you.

If reading a few pages of the book will help, here you go.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I have a book to finish.

It feels good to feel good. #feelgood

Until next time…