I’m not sure about your weekend, but mine was so eventful, I’ve got to tell you about it.
It started with having one wedding dress too many, lead to several online robbery attempts, and ended with goodness.
I hope when you read these crazy stories, you put yourself in them, and consider how you’d choose joy along with me.
Because as we know, in a brief time, joy can come very naturally, and then things can flip and joy needs to be a choice. This was one of those times.
The wedding dresses (plural)
Both of my kids are getting married in the fall. It’s such an exciting time! A short time after my daughter got engaged, we went dress shopping at a store where people donate their new and used dresses to support cancer research with the proceeds. It’s a fantastic concept and she was hooked on the idea.
She quickly chose a dress, paid $600, and we took it home.
It was pretty, but in full transparency, I didn’t feel like it was “the one.” It was hard to be honest when she asked what I thought of it, but we’ve always talked openly about everything, so I cautiously admitted I felt like she got swept up in the moment and should have continued shopping. I wanted her to feel beautiful. I encouraged her to go to other stores and sell the first dress online, but I stood by her decision to keep it.
Months went by and we got into other details of wedding planning.
I was delighted when the other day, she suddenly declared she wanted to keep looking for the right dress.
Dress shopping, round 2
For years, she had been dreaming of one dress in particular that she had saved on Pinterest. She found a shop that carried that designer’s dresses but didn’t know if they’d have her dream dress.
On Friday, we drove an hour to the bridal shop. We were giddy with anticipation. We dug through the racks and practically shouted with glee when we found her dress!
While it was 8 sizes too big (no joke, there were clips everywhere to adjust the fit), it was gorgeous. After years of imagining, seeing her standing there in it was amazing. We were so glad she made the effort to find it. It was a real lesson in listening to your gut.
But, she didn’t buy it. As gorgeous as it was, In the end, it actually came in second to the one she chose… the perfect gown that brought tears of joy to our eyes, the one that was made for her, the one that made her feel beautiful. I have been sworn to secrecy about the dress but you can bet there will be pictures of her smiling in that dress in a JOY BITES newsletter this fall!
The attempted robberies
Here’s the part where the story changed.
My daughter listed dress #1 for sale on Facebook Marketplace. Ten offers flooded in overnight. Exuberantly, she told me that one was three times higher than what she originally paid for it. I encouraged her to take it.
We used my Paypal account to receive the money. Paypal sent an email that the money had been transferred. I screenshotted it and sent it to her, and we celebrated and discussed how she’d ship her dress across the country. The shipping would cost $150.
About an hour later, my gut told me to log into my Paypal account. When I did, I was confused. The money wasn’t there.
After spending time investigating the details and talking with customer service, we learned that the whole thing was a scam.
My daughter was just hours from shipping a dress to someone who faked a Paypal email without actually paying her.
We felt disappointed. Mad. Frustrated. Violated. And eventually, sad. Sad for whatever was in the buyer’s heart that made him think it was a good idea to try and rob a young bride of $750.
There are times when joy becomes a choice
This was one of those times.
At the #Feelgood Challenge, I’ll be sharing how to find joy when the circumstances aren’t pretty. We’ll learn to dig for blessings so that we can be thankful even when we are surrounded by rubble. It doesn’t have to be cleaned up first.
It was time for me to test my theory. What, if anything, was a blessing in this situation? Choosing to find the blessings – the silver linings – would equate to choosing joy. It’s impossible to be filled with gratitude and not feel joy.
So, I started digging through the fallout of the situation, looking for blessings. You know what? There were several:
- We caught the guy (and several others who attempted the same thing later that same day) in time and my daughter wasn’t robbed in the end.
- We learned a valuable lesson about confirming the legitimacy of business deals before accepting them.
- My daughter was able to help cancer patients.
- Buying a dress she didn’t love helped her learn a lesson in keeping her head in the moment and not getting caught up in excitement.
- My daughter still has an opportunity to find the person who will appreciate and be blessed by dress #1.
- On her wedding day, she will be wearing the dress that was designed for her and makes her feel beautiful.
Do the work: Joy is worth it in the end
But, what about the “bad guy?” Where’s the blessing with him? Is there one?
Well, choosing joy regarding him was a little more work. Sadness became the predominant feeling as I thought of him. I couldn’t shake the fact that something in his heart led him to take great lengths to steal from my daughter (that fake email was impressive. You know what tipped us off? He sent it from a gmail account, not from a paypal account. Everything else looked official).
Knowing that he thought it was ok to take advantage of others just made me sad. So I went into prayer mode. I prayed all day for healing to take place in his heart. I prayed for him to know true goodness and joy. The thing is, something caused pain that led him to want to hurt other people. I didn’t have to know what it was, but I could ask God to heal it.
In praying blessings over “the bad guy,” and in recognizing that God can use all things for good for those who love Him (Romans 8:28), even a situation like this where someone intended harm, my heart started to feel lighter. I began to feel thankful for God’s goodness in that guy’s life, even if I didn’t know what that would look like. Just resting in the awareness that God’s love was bigger than that person’s pain was enough to restore my joy.
So yes, in a short time, joy can move from being natural to being a choice. Let me encourage you to do a couple of things: Learn how to celebrate when joy comes naturally and learn how to choose it when it’s not.
Dig for blessings when you need to.
Do the work. Joy is always worth it in the end.
It feels good to feel good. I want you to #feelgood. ❤️
I’ll see you over at Joy To The World Coaching.
PS: If the concept of digging for blessings is a bit foreign, come to the #Feelgood Challenge. It’s just one of 4 things we’ll learn about that week. Recordings will be posted each night. To save your seat, just click here. Learning this one skill alone will be well worth your $47!
Until next time…
