Do you ever feel stuck?
You know, you want to move forward, but it’s like your feet are in mud.
Mud that’s deep.
Mud you have been in for so long that it’s hard and crusty around your shoes.
Tumbleweed is blowing across the surface. You’re not going anywhere.
Unless, of course, you take your shoes off!
So in complete transparency, I admit that today was the day that I realized I have been stuck.
That story about the mud?
That was my story and those were my feet.
I have been stuck on one thing for longer than I care to admit… but here we go, because I like you and I know you won’t laugh at me:
I have been stuck for a couple of months.
Ok, closer to three.
The thing that I have not been able to get past was the idea of adding a blog page to my website. Yup. Three months of ruminating over a blog page.
I have loved writing from the heart and sharing JOY BITES emails with my audience for some time now. They are essentially blogs without the fancy page. That’s not the holdup.
The holdup has to do with my non-tech brain. I think I missed the technology gene.
Joy, I GET, but if you want a tech coach, you best find somebody else.
In the past, I have been totally comfortable admitting that tech wasn’t my thing. I knew it would take way to long to learn how to design my own website, so I hired my favorite web guy to do it… that was easy, yay! But for some reason, I thought I could set up the blog page myself.
It didn’t seem too techy.
So I tried.
- I played around.
- I read how-to posts.
- I watched “for dummies” videos (best series on any subject, ever).
- I asked friends.
And I still didn’t understand how to translate the tech-speak into Robin-brain-are-we-having-fun-yet-language.
So the idea sat.
And all the JOY BITES ideas I was “saving for the blog”…they didn’t miraculously become blogs.
Enter the holidays and a complete change of routine.
Add the fogginess of re-adjusting to “real life” in January.
Hello, mud and tumbleweed.
Goodbye, moving feet.
Today, however, I decided enough was enough.
It occurred to me that the person who gave me permission to feel stuck is the same person who could give me permission to move forward: ME.
Why am I sharing this?
Because I believe everyone feels stuck from time to time. It’s human nature and no one is infallible.
In fact, after the holidays, a lot of people feel stuck.
- The get-togethers aren’t happening.
- The weather changes.
- The momentum slows.
- Life, for many, drags.
If you can relate, these tips could help you. If not, share the love and pass them on to your favorite stuck person.
If you resonate with the idea of having a real human meet you where you are (but who refuses to let you stay there), I can coach you back toward a more joyful place. I get this!
Ok, here’s what I learned about getting UN-stuck:
1. A simple change in scenery totally changed my perspective.
I needed to get out of my head and into a more resourceful state, so I bundled up and took a short walk. I didn’t need to be anywhere special, just away from my issue.
It wasn’t a major time commitment; only 30 minutes… I felt there was no way I could afford to stay away from my to-do list for long.
And then it happened. I could not believe how just stepping away from the problem for a few minutes (in my latest pair of neon purple shoes, yay!) made it seem smaller. As I drank in the great big, beautiful, frozen world around me, I realized I had been allowing my limited perspective to guide my thinking.
It’s a massive world full of possibilities and I had been focusing on one speck of dust.
I appreciated
- feeling the cold air rush across my face,
- hearing the symphony of wind chimes in a neighbor’s yard,
- the joy of movement,
- and seeing the actual sun – IT’S WINTER IN THE MIDWEST AND THE SUN WAS SHINING!
and I realized that had I kept focusing only on my mud, I would have missed the bigger picture.
I was suddenly aware that there is more to life than my one problem. A lot more! That was good news.
2. Being stuck with one thing does not mean I am stuck in all areas.
As I walked, I took stock of what else happened in those three months.
I was surprised to realize, wow, I have moved forward with a whole lot of other priorities. It wasn’t all on hold.
In the same time frame where I had convinced myself “nothing” happened,
- I got to coach my awesome clients to many wins and celebrate them with victory dances,
- I began building a tribe of like-hearted givers on LinkedIn (let’s connect!),
- And I spoke to three phenomenal groups and was booked to speak to two more, including a women’s conference I am really excited about (tickets are on sale now!).
Woven into all of this was the joy of celebrating my Savior’s birth and spending wonderful time with my family. We made so many memories in this time period!
By taking stock of the rest of the picture, I learned that my goal to get a blog up was only a fraction of what matters to me… yet, I was keyed-in on it like it was the only thing. Great stuff was happening.
I wasn’t stuck at all!
3. Gosh dang it woman, all you have to do is let it go!
Is anyone meant to be an island?
Why do we think we have to do it all alone?
What holds us back from asking for help?
These are good questions to ask. As I share in my related facebook post, the beauty of asking questions is, they lead to answers.
Even though I really wanted to be able to set up my blog page myself, today I decided to ask myself another question: Was there more going on?
Historically, my faith tells me that when I am trying to do something for the sake of good and meet a bunch of resistance, I need to ask if a bigger battle is going on.
Even though I didn’t get a definitive answer, just asking the question was all I needed to let go of control and ask for help… just to make it happen and attempt to use it for the good.
So I contacted my trusty web guy and hired him to set the thing up for me.
A brilliant move, sending that one email, even if it took me three months to get there.
By deciding to hand off what I cannot do, I was freed up to focus on what I can do…the fun part, the writing and sharing… thus the launch of the JOY BITES blog!
I don’t know what took me so long to figure it out. Pride? Stubbornness? The desire to learn? Maybe all three.
Today I became really cool with reality. I had to, because I could not change it. If I wanted good to happen, I had to let go of control and grab onto reality. Reality and help.
When I did, I found freedom.
How about you?
Have you felt stuck?
How did you overcome it?
What would you add to the conversation?
Or, maybe you feel stuck right now. Maybe your feet have been swallowed by mud.
You could be reading this, a little freaked out, thinking, “How did she know?”
If you feel stuck, I hope my willingness to be transparent will help you recognize you are not alone.
It happens. But you don’t have to stay there.
Do you need to give yourself permission to move on?
See if these tips help you get un-stuck. You might be as surprised as I was!
If you would like to chat for free about how I can help you, click here. I have a shovel. It would be a joy to help you move forward.
What’s the take-home message?
For me, it means that the mud may be present, but it’s not going to swallow my feet.
Why would I bury my purple toenails in dirt when I could contribute to the greater good and dance for joy?
I would love to hear the take-home message for you.
Nice, Robin! Just had this discussion with a friend today. It all boils down to “quit playing the same tape in your head all alone!” That’s just going in circles. Open your mouth and share! Movement…
Yes yes yes!!! Glad you are having conversation about it… Such great advice!
I love this Robin! It’s so true and as you mentioned, especially this time of year. Thanks for sharing. I’m so excited for you!
Yay! Thank you so much, Sonetta! This time of year can definitely impact our thinking! I hope that starting a conversation about it will help others feel less alone and more willing to take a step forward.